The Mary Sue Trilogy Of Four
by The Mr. President
Summary: This is all of my Mary Sue stories in one lot. I wrote them to try and make people like Mary Sue, and also to try and make people laugh. It's a bit spoofy towards the end and I hope you like it. Please read!
1. Chapter 1

Definition of a 'Mary Sue', kindly supplied by Cold Fate when she told me what one was in one of my reviews: an old writing term meaning a character that is perfect and attracts all the males, a perfect example would be Miaka from the anime Fuushigi yuugi where about five guys fell in love with her.

(Note: Cold Fate is in no way involved in my 'Pro Mary Sue' campaign. It is just me on my lonesome. But feel free to join in with it!)

I am currently writing this to try and do what may be impossible. To try and stop the mass hating of Mary Sue's.

And no, it is not because I am one. Though I would definitely not mind if loads of guys, preferably good looking ones, fell in love with me. Though the whole being perfect thing sounds like way too much hard work. And also very boring hard work.

Anyway, as I was saying, this is going to be the first of many one shot projects, trying to help people to get to know the Sue behind the Mary. If you catch my drift… I am hoping that if people can see what life as a Mary Sue really is like, they won't hate her. That's the theory anyway. I might always just make people hate her even more and me too. Oh well!

So here it is. Enjoy reading guys!

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Mary Sue sat in front of her mirror, brushing her perfectly curled blond hair, looking to see her perfectly sculptured face staring back at her. She wasn't vain….but she sure knew that she wasn't ugly. It wasn't her fault that she didn't get warts, spots and bad hair days like most girls did. It was just a fact of life. She always did and also would look perfect. 

Looking around her dressing room, amidst her many many many bouquets of flowers, Mary Sue spotted a rose with a black ribbon tied around. From Erik. _And I used to think he was called Eric_. Chuckling to herself, she picked it up and read the note attached. Another love letter. Sigh. _Why do all the good looking guys always fall for me?_

Mary Sue had a long past of good looking guys. Sure, at the start it had been fun. Falling in love came easily to her but soon enough he turned into a wife beater or died from a sudden disease or turned out to be a serial killer etc. But it never lasted. There was always some new love of her life.

Wiping away a tear, Mary Sue cursed herself. _I don't mean to be such a wuss…I always seem to be getting into some trouble. Getting a sudden fever, being kidnapped or nearly dieing. The list goes on._

There was a small knock on the door and one of the other opera singers entered.

'The shows on soon. You better get ready.' She spoke quickly, eager to leave.

_And that's another problem with being me. I never seem to make any real friends. Sure, I get a best friend but soon enough she's killed by some evil master mind or dies saving me from a bullet. All the other girls hate me. It's not my fault I'm beautiful and have a perfect singing voice!_

Picking up a letter which had just been pushed underneath her door, Mary Sue began to read.

_**Dear Mary Sue,**_

_**This is your arch nemesis, Sarah Jane.**_

_**I hate your guts! You stole my man but everyone knows Eric really loves me.**_

_**I've kidnapped him and unless you give up your opera career I will kill him.**_

_**If I can't have him, no one will.**_

_**MOH HAH HAH HAH HAAAAAA!**_

_**Hugs and kisses,**_

_**Sarah Jane**_

_Sigh, things like this are always happening_, Mary Sue thought bitterly to herself_. If it isn't the man I love getting kidnapped, it's my divorced husband who comes back from the dead and tries to kill me. Why can't I have a normal life like everyone else?_

_

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_

So do you still hate Mary Sue? Do you? Do you really? Huh, punk?

If that hasn't persuaded you at all, don't worry, there are plenty more projects heading your way!

Feel free to review with any comments, facts on Mary Sue or helpful suggestions for my campaign. Especially please review if you think your opinion on Mary Sue has been changed. Then I'll know my work is not in vain.

IMPORTANT NOTE: The only reason I used the name Sarah Jane is because I was just trying to think of a name opposite to Mary Sue. It is not because I don't like the name or person Sarah Jane. I in fact have met a really nice Sarah Jane... So I do not mean to be offensive to anyone.


	2. Chapter 2

I am carrying on with my campaign but currently….it does not seem to be working. But don't worry! I will still continue. I won't give up! I will continue working in vain to try and make someone like Mary Sue. I have already successfully got one slightly worrying review but I will continue to endeavour to persevere.

So here is another letter I have rustled up from somewhere, a letter for Eric (a.k.a the Phantom of the Opera) from my good old buddy Mary Sue.

* * *

Dear Eric,

Look, I am very flattered but no I will not come to live with you down in the dudgeons 'of your black despair', as you so attractively put it. A very appealing description I do say. I am sure it would do nothing for my complexion and to be frank, I don't fancy living next to a lake. If I am anywhere need any type of water I usually find may hair becomes frizzy, poofy and big. Ok, to be truthful, my hair is actually constantly perfect. Even if I fell into the lake may hair would be miraculously dry and perfectly styled in a matter of seconds. And my complexion is also consistently flawless, unless I happen to get attractively cut from a dagger when attacked one of my jealous co-workers, such as Sarah Jane, going crazy in a fit of range. Such cuts will always look amazingly attractive and make me seem ruggedly beautiful and brave.

The real reason for my reluctance to join you in your abode is that Raoul, realising how superior I was to Christine, fell in love with me, ditched Christine, and then kidnapped me and is currently threatening to blow up half of Paris if I don't marry him. It's funny how things turn out? One minute everyone loves Christine and the next everyone loves little old me. Or tries to kills me dropping the opera scene set on top of me like Sarah Jane did or trys to poison the whole water supply of France to further ensure my death, after I refused their offer of marriage like Piangi did. Life certainly has its little surprises doesn't it?

As I was saying, being kidnapped and all, I am afraid I'll have to decline your offer of moving in with you, even though you did suddenly fall in love with me for no apparent reason and magically forgot all about Christine due to my womanly charms. Raoul can be quite stroppy at times so I would appreciate it if you didn't tell him about this letter…he's still in a huff since he discovered I had still kept the rose you sent me and tried to throttle me. But boys will be boys, and I can't really blame him from being in love with me and kidnapping me. Nearly everyone does at some point!

But don't worry about me. Most likely some long lost relative will realise where Raoul has taken me, fight him in a duel and then "kill" him, then take me back to the Opera House. Naturally, Raoul will have survived somehow and will seek revenge but we can worry about that later.

I hear that the Opera House is doing well? Even though their leading lady, me, has been kidnapped, the publicity must be good for it. And of course all my adoring fans would hate for the Opera House to close, as how else would I be able to have a job which paid well enough for me to buy all my stunning dresses which I constantly wear all the time and look good in, even if they have been torn in one of my common sword fights with my divorced husband who so persistently comes back to life and tries to murder me? My word, he is determined though isn't he? You have to admire him for that. The little sweetie!

Well anyway, I hope to see you soon. Oh, isn't that a coincidence? My long lost brother just broke through the room and has started duelling Raoul. I'll have to go now and shriek in a very heroic yet feminine manner.

Toodles!

Mary Sue

P.S How did you manage to escape from my arch nemesis Sarah Jane who so rudely kidnapped you? As I mentioned above, she tried to kill me by dropping the set on me, due to her plan of kidnapping you failing so she naturally became desperate for revenge. Sarah Jane can be quite spiteful at times!

* * *

Poor Mary Sue and her constantly trouble filled life…something always seems to go wrong doesn't it? Oh well, I'm sure she will survive. She always does, doesn't she?

Feel free to review! I like all reviews, including threatening ones. Does anyone like Mary Sue yet? Or does everyone still want her to die in a very dramatic and sad way? Does anyone like her a little bit more since reading my new project? If not, and you have any ideas how I can encourage people to like her, please review with all your ideas. Thanks for reading and feel free to join my campaign!


	3. Chapter 3

The dungeon also happens to have a spectator ring, which has been filled up with the many fan fiction members around the world. Many of them share Christine's attitude of anger and hatred towards Mary Sue but hopefully some of them, like me, feel Mary Sue is just misunderstood and like her and all her crazy adventures, which are often hilarious and amuslingly melodramatic.

All of this scene will be written in this style because I find it's easier to understand and read! I am sorry if you don't...

Happy reading!

**Note to whoever is reading this: THE FAN FICTION WRITERS ARE NOT REAL! I HAVE MADE UP THEM AND THEIR CHARACTERS. THESE ARE IMAGINARY FAN FICTION WRITERS. SO PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENDED!**

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**

(**Setting the scene: **_Mary Sue is currently lying on a platform just above a pit of fire, whimpering slightly though still looking beautiful as always. Christine is cackling manically below shouting helpful things such as 'Don't look down!' then cackling some more. She is currently standing next to a lever, which if pulled, will send Mary Sue to her death. The crowd of fan fiction writers are chanting 'Burn her! Burn her!' and ever so often someone shouts 'Drop her in the pit!'. Sarah Jane is in the front row of the spectators, leading the chanting.)_

Christine 'MOH HAH HAH HAA! Now who wants Raoul?'

Mary Sue 'I never wanted him! He's a big fop…I mean he's just not my type. You're honestly welcome to him.'

Sarah Jane 'She's lying! She was after him all along. Just pull the leaver and drop her in the pit.'

Crowd '**IN THE PIT! IN THE PIT! IN THE PIT!**

(Mary Sue whimpers loudly and starts to sob. The poor thing!)

Christine 'Hah! There's no Raoul to save you now like last time.'

Mary Sue 'What time? He never saved me. He kidnapped me!'

Sarah Jane 'Don't listen to her! She's trying to trick you with mind games.'

Crowd '**MIND GAMES! MIND GAMES! MIND GAMES!'**

Mary Sue 'Please! Can't we just talk about this sensibly? How about making a deal? You let me off this platform and PRETEND I've died. Then Raoul will want you again!'

(Christine looks thoughtful, considering the idea. Sarah Jane starts to look worried so decides to stir up the crowd some more.)

Sarah Jane 'Why bother? Why not just kill her for real? This whole pretending thing would just be a lot of trouble. AND you would have to lie to your precious Raoul. Just send her to her grave!'

Crowd 'TO** HER GRAVE! TO HER GRAVE! TO HER GRAVE!**

Mary Sue (Under her breath to herself) 'Man that crowds annoying. All they do is repeat the last few words Sarah Jane says.' (Speaking loudly to everyone) 'No, please! Then you would be a murderer Christine. Can you really live with my blood on your hands? Can you really?'

Sarah Jane (To Mary Sue) 'Sure she can!' (Talking to Christine) 'Why on earth would you want to save her?'

Crowd '**SAVE HER! SAVE HER! SAVE HER!**

Sarah Jane 'BE QUIET! You don't want Christine to save her!'

(But unfortunately for Sarah Jane the crowd are shouting to loud for her to be heard. Haa haa! The crowd seem to like this rather catchychant so start shouting it even louder.)

Crowd '**SAVE HER! SAVE HER! SAVE HER!'**

(Mary Sue starts to cheer up at hearing the chanting but then Sarah Jane gets an evil plan.)

Sarah Jane (Looking sinister) 'How about 'Grave her' instead?'

Crowd '**GRAVE HER! GRAVE HER! GRAVE HER!'**

(Sarah Jane smiles smugly at Mary Sue who shakes her fist at her. Christine looks at Sarah Jane and then to Mary Sue, clearly confused. Suddenly the door of the dungeons enter and Raoul bursts in the room.)

Raoul 'Don't do it Christine! You can't kill Mary Sue…I love her!'

(Christine quickly starts towards the leaver to go and pull it.)

Mary Sue 'You idiot Raoul! Only a stupid fop like you would do something as idiotic as that. Now I'm going to die.'

(Christine stops what she's doing to yell at Mary Sue.)

Christine 'Don't you dare insult my precious Raoul…you…you wench!'

(Erik a.k.a. the Phantom of the Opera bursts in through the dungeon door.)

Erik 'Don't you dare insult my precious Mary Sue…you…you hag!'

Raoul 'Don't you dare insult my precious Christine…you…you monster!'

Mary Sue 'Don't you dare insult my precious Erik…you…you fop!'

Christine 'Don't you dare insult my precious Raoul-'

Sarah Jane 'Now don't start that again!'

Crowd '**START THAT AGAIN! START THAT AGAIN! START THAT AGAIN!**

(Sarah Jane groans, shaking her head at the stupidity of the crowd.)

Christine (Talking to Raoul) 'Do you really mean that? You think I'm precious?'

Raoul 'Of course I do, my love! How could I ever love Mary Sue now that she's called me a fop! Quickly, pull the leaver!'

Erik, Mary Sue and Christine shout '**WHAT?'**

Raoul (Talking to Christine) 'You wouldn't let her get away with calling me a fop, would you?'

Sarah Jane 'Yes! I agree with him! Pull the leaver!'

Crowd '**PULL THE LEAVER! PULL THE LEAVER! PULL THE LEAVER!'**

Erik 'No Christine! Don't do it!'

(Christine moves her hand and puts it on the leaver but then the crowd shouts….)

* * *

What should happen next? As the reviewers, I will let you decide what should happen. Can you really let poor Mary Sue plunge to her death to be burnt alive? Could you live with that on you conscience? Review, saying whether or not you think Mary Sue should be kept alive. The choice is YOURS. 


	4. Chapter 4

Alas…this is the last chapter I will be writing for the Phantom Of The Opera Mary Sue campaign. Having taken the advice of my Mary Sue reviewers I have (sadly) come up with this chapter….

**Summary of what is happening at the moment: **Poor poor Mary Sue is currently sitting on a platform, just above a bit of fire. Christine is threatening to kill her due to the fact Raoul fell in love with her but then he fell back in love with Christine and has just told Christine to pull the leaver which will send Mary Sue to her death. Eric is also there, trying to convince Christine not to kill his beloved Mary Sue.

Note to who ever is reading this: NO OFFENCE MEANT TO ANYONE WHO IS READING THIS. ALSO I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND THE MASS KILLINGS IN THIS CHAPTER. IT HAD TO BE DONE.

What has just happened:

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Raoul 'Of course I do, my love! How could I ever love Mary Sue now that she's called me a fop! Quickly, pull the leaver!'

Erik, Mary Sue and Christine shout '**WHAT?'**

Raoul (Talking to Christine) 'You wouldn't let her get away with calling me a fop, would you?'

Sarah Jane 'Yes! I agree with him! Pull the leaver!'

Crowd '**PULL THE LEAVER! PULL THE LEAVER! PULL THE LEAVER!'**

Erik 'No Christine! Don't do it!'

(Christine moves her hand and puts it on the leaver but then the crowd shouts….)

Crowd **'KILL HER QUICK! KILL HER QUICK! KILL HER QUICK!'**

(Christine pulls the leaver so the platform goes vertical, meaning Mary Sue falls off the platform with a very loud scream. But her scream is drowned out by an even louder (and scarily more feminine) scream.)

Raoul 'Ahhhhhh! NO! Christine! How could you do that?'

Christine 'But you said-'

Raoul 'It was just a joke!'

Erik 'Well it was really hilarious. Now look what you've done!'

Raoul 'My lovely Mary Sue…gone. Life without her isn't worth living!'

(And with that Raoul jumped into the pit after Mary Sue and then soon he begins screaming even louder than before. As he is burnt alive. MOH HAH HAH HAAA! BURN FOP BURN!)

Christine 'No Raoul! DON'T!'

Erik 'Don't you think it's just a little bit late for that now?'

Christine 'Oh it's all my fault!'

Erik 'You got the right. Who's else fault could it me?'

Christine 'Oh I can't live with myself after what I've done!'

(And with that Christine jumped into the pit after Raoul and then soon she begins to scream in a very wussy high pitched way. Just like she does in that 'Think of Me' song. Because you can hardly call that singing.)

Erik 'Well I'm not going in after her. Anyone else want to go?'

(A random Christine fan (if they exist) runs from the crowd and then jumps into the pit after Christine shouting 'Weeeeeeeeee!' as he goes.)

Sarah Jane 'Someone really should close that pit…'

Crowd **'CLOSE THAT PIT! CLOSE THAT PIT! CLOSE THAT PIT!'**

Sarah Jane 'Ok, ok! I'm going.

(Sarah Jane goes off into the pit whilst Erik gazes sadly into the flickering flames of the pit.)

Erik 'Sigh….another love of my life lost. The first one goes off with some fop then the other one is killed off due to the fop's stupidity. Now who can I sing my wonderful love songs to?'

(Miss Mary Lou jumps out of the crowd shouting 'Coooooeeee' (Said cu ee) and rushes over to a rather frightened Erik.)

Erik 'What the-'

Miss Mary Lou 'I heard there was an opening to be the love of your life. I'm available if you like!'

Erik 'Sorry, errr… Miss but I don't even know you.'

Miss Mary Lou 'That's all right! We have plenty of time for that. So can I be the love of your life?'

Erik 'Well, I'm not sure…'

Miss Mary Lou 'I am a writer in training so I could probably help you with all your opera's etc.'

Erik 'Oh all right then.'

(Miss Mary Lou does a little victory dance, to Erik's horror, then grabs him by the arm and leads/pulls/drags him off. And they lived happily ever after….well Miss Mary Lou did anyway.)

* * *

I tried to incorporate all the reviewers' ideas, so that why I had Raoul and Christine die too. Does anyone like Mary Sue yet? Did you feel, like me, that Mary Sue's death was a waste of human life and that she should be given the chance to live like the rest of us? Did you in anyway feel sympathetic for her?

Poor Mary Sue….I really didn't want her to die. But hopefully her dieing will have made you feel sorry for her.

Please review with all comments, ideas for further Mary Sue projects.

P.S The spiteful comment at Christine's singing in only in comparison with some really good singers. Such as me! HEE HEE HEE! Just kidding! A toad (e.g. Carlotta) could sing better than me.

Notes to reviewers:

**Baffled Seraph, The Goose-Girl and Broken-Mask : **Why don't you like Mary Sue? Can't you see how it's not her fault how perfect she is and how all males always constantly fall in love with her? WHY MUST SHE DIE?

**El Loopy: **Woo hooo! Go you for not wanting Mary Sue to die. I hope you weren't too sad that she did…the poor thing. I tried to include your idea that Raoul and Christine should die. I hope you liked it!


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